...

Thought maybe I'd update a little more regularly, so the next post isn't, like, three pages long. :)

Two things this time around.
One: we've got another coworker, at least for the next three months. M came just to stay for a few days while she waited for a flight back to Germany (she was trying to do her eurythmy therapy training work placement thing -- observing a therapist at work, but the place she applied to was taken by another training eurythmist, so she was heading back to Germany to find somewhere new. And then she came here, and we mentioned our need for another coworker, and she mentioned her desire to work in a Camphill, and voila.)
She's lovely -- early 30s, with a Swiss/German/French/Australian accent (worldly childhood). We've gotten a bit mired in the drama of the last few weeks, so she's also a nice breath of fresh air. :)
Anyway, she's here now and that's good, cause the second bit of news is a la A.

Had a crap day yesterday -- got really tired and hungry and angry while working in the garden in the afternoon, on top of spending the day trying to suppress the urge to burst into tears. Succeeded at that, for the most part, but it made my head (and heart) hurt. Anyway, I was out of it and just wanted me time when I got back before supper, so I headed up to my room. Stopped in to A's room on the way to announce that supper (including chips...mm...) would be served momentarily, and was greeted with a sad face and voice and the announcement that she'd overdosed on her meds (on purpose). Fuck.
So I got R, who spent the next few hours on the phone to try and sort it out without getting the ambulance. But A called the paramedics herself, and is now in a hospital in Limerick. She didn't seriously hurt herself -- she's done this before, negative attention seeking (done this actual thing, suicide scares, before, actually). The thing that gets me is that I couldn't muster sympathy at the time for her, at all. I was so out of it myself that it was just like, ok. Yeah. Of course this would happen now. Thanks a lot.
Which is crap, because if I can't sympathise or empathise how much help am I to her, really?
It just scared me, that I don't trust anything she says (because of her history of playing with the truth) and then that I wasn't paying much attention to her during the day (she was kind of left to her own devices, which maybe isn't a good thing for her...anyway.)

I shall continue this later, though, as it is lunchtime now.

I hope all is well with all of you (and please don't let this post colour your day. I'm fine, she's fine -- it was just a bad series of events).

Ok.

LOVE.