this one needs a disclaimer

Ok. Disclaimer: I want to fill this post with all the salient information from the past few weeks...but I don't want to form coherent paragraphs. So it may jump around a bit. Still, enjoy. :)

Right, so there have been major changes going on around here in the last little while. The least disruptive is the departure of the baby goat and sheep (V-Toe and Darby, you may remember them from earlier posts). They have been returned from whence they came, weaned down to two bottles a day instead of five and happily munching away on hay and grain and dandylion heads (really cute, actually). I'm a little sad to see them go. I mean, sure they kept escaping and eating various people's garden plants and wreaking havoc on the chicken coop (where they were kept, which then had to be constantly repaired). But they were really cute too, especially when they didn't try to eat my clothes but were just watching me or breathing their little warm breaths on my hands. Still, all good things end and I'm left feeling happy I had (and took) a chance to mother some baby livestock for awhile.

Change number two: we're hosting a possible new resident, A, on a 3 month trial. She has been coming for a few days a week for, like, a year and I'm really glad we're moving things along. She doesn't always mesh with the schedule, or the coworkers, but the bumps will surely be easier to see (and therefore iron out) when she's here for a longer sustained time, yeah? Yeah. She does the whole getting-under-your-skin, finding-and-pushing-your-buttons thing really well and really often, which is probably why it's taken this long for her to come for a longer time. Anyway, I'll see how I do with growing a thicker skin (one time, on one of her short visits, she suggested I visit a salon to get my upper lip waxed. All well and good, sure, but not at the breakfast table when my defenses are sleepy and low and there are other coworkers at the table. Thanks for pointing out I have whiskers, Anne. Love it).
(PS, sorry if it seems like these posts have a lot of feeling sorry for myself in them. I don't mean for it to come out that way....but it's also true that the walls are thin so I can't vent emotions over the phone, and I don't know anyone here outside the community well enough for that yet).
Anywho, A. So, yeah. She came last week and is coming next week (Mon-Fri), and then the trial period starts in earnest (for 3 months straight). I think it went well with her last week. We didn't have any confrontations, and we did have a nice chat about the kind of arts and crafts she does, and how it's funny that the kids here don't watch TV. At one point I did feel like I snapped at her...but it was while trying to get her up and pump up my blood sugar at the same time, and she may have been asleep. So. :)

And change number three: Mat has left. For good. I mean, he's staying with friends just outside of Scarriff (I met up with him last week on my day off, for a coffee), but he's left the Camphill and is eventually going back home to Germany (via rail, I think). This just isn't the right place for him at this point in his life -- I think he needs more care than he can give, needs to just figure himself out first. His leaving complicated the whole A trial thing, so that it's ended up that it's Ric, R (and the girls), A and I in Clai, and N, J, M and M and baby M, and E in Inis. I miss having N around -- he's a lovely person to have around in the mornings if he's happy (you can just hear giggles coming from the sitting room while you make breakfast. What a lovely way to wake up. :)) I don't think I really miss Mat -- I mean, I feel his absence (especially in that now there are many more things for me to do -- it kind of works out that I'm the only full-time coworker in Clai, because R has her girls. Which is all well and good for her, and I'm not at all saying she doesn't need time with just them because of course she does...but it's a little much when that means I have to entertain both A and Ric, who don't sit happily with a string or simply listen to music like N does. They need full-on entertainment...and let's be honest. I can barely entertain myself when I have to. :)) Anyway, yeah. I think I'm ok with Mat's leaving because it's obvious that he needed to go -- we had several conversations before he left, and they always ended with me saying "if this isn't the right place for you, tell us and go. It's healthier and better for everyone if it's out in the open and decided-upon instead of festering away inside". More or less. :) Also, if I'm being honest, sometimes it got a little much, the conversations with him. It was a whole lot of him reminiscing about days gone by and saying "I'm ok with this" when he wasn't fully, and (most annoyingly) not listening when I managed to get a word in edgewise (unless it was advice for him for the situation at hand). Whew. Anyway, I don't want to dump all my residiual urg about him out now, because he was also nice and friendly and funny and helpful and all those good things.

Anyway.

And now for something completely different. I biked to Scarriff the other day, on my day off. This is a big deal for me, because it's all hilly over here, and because there are no sidewalks let alone bike lanes. Still, it wasn't too busy and I managed quite well (and safely), on R's mum's lovely old bike with curvy handlebars that reminded me to sit up straight (when I listened to them). :) Mm. I'm proud of me for the ride. Also for making dumplings the other day for dinner -- I made a veggie stew and sat the dumplings (Mum's recipe) on top and they turned out beautifully and everyone was happy with them and made jokes re. me saying I'm not a cook and then turning out dumplings. Guess I can't hide behind the I-fried-a-plastic-spatula-onto-grilled-cheese story anymore. Oh well. :) Then I hung out with Mat and went to the library and got picked up by P to have dinner with him and his wife A (both work in the theatre; their kids and I have a lot in common -- interests in graphic novels, graffiti, theatre, etc). Then he gave me his commentary on the play I wrote for this community, and said in the end that I shouldn't let what I've written constrict me from writing it all over again totally different (I said, "But I've written it for them and we've started working a bit on it and I'd feel bad to go and totally change it now...except I really don't like it the way it is at all" and he said "They'll understand. It's the way theatre works". Good reminder. :)

Also, I went to a drumming workshop the other day (with people from the community), and it was so much fun I can't believe it. It was African drumming, with jimbays (probably spelled wrong). I LOVE hand-drumming...and the best part was, everyone was doing it quite happily (including J and N and another such fellow from around Scarriff). Oh, rhythm. How I love thee.

Right. So, those are all the big things I can think of right now...except also, I was taking care of the house (outdoor) cat Cider, who had to have his tail amputated and then stay inside for a bit. He's lovely, and I fed him and everything (aka put his cone on so he wouldn't gnaw the stitches out). He's stitches-free and back outside now...but I think I'll still bring him food and knuckle his head now and again.

And it's been ridiculously warm the past few days (weeks, even) -- one day people were out in shorts, and the harbour felt like Halifax in the summer. Minus the Cow's ice cream stand, unfortunately. But it's back to rain, for tonight at least. (Which, for the garden, is a good thing. :)).

And nothing's decided yet, but I'm thinking I may stay here for a couple extra months, because M and M are leaving in December (which is when I would leave, if I'm sticking around for only a year)...and then it would just be E and R and the residents, as it stands now. Which is a lot of stress (which there is a lot of around anyway, so less is good). So I'm thinking I may stay around to see Clai through this yet another massive change, and then head off home (or, rather, head off around Europe and then home). We shall see.

Ok. I'm written out, so I'm off now. But I hope all is well with you, and I love and miss you all lot. A whole lot.

LOVE.

PS; I know it's ridiculous, but sometimes when I come online I would love to just see a comment or two (because I know you're reading this, but as per usual it's the I'll-believe-it-when-I-see-it syndrome). Aka can someone post a comment, even if it's just hi?
T'anks, so (as they say here).
LOVE.