Mr. Weedy

Hey, all. How're you guys doing?

Nothing major has happened here, really....but I figure I haven't posted anything in awhile, so here you go. :)

So...we went to Ennis on Monday to watch Shrek 4 (3D). It was E, M, R, A, J and N and I and it was a fun trip (even if the movie was less than stellar. Of course -- sequels are never so good, let alone version number 4). Ended up having to wait for, like, an hour for U and her friend to get to the van after their movie (Get him to the Greek, which I still totally want to see)...but it was ok. Nowhere pressing to be. And then we got back, and A (after being lovely and cooperative and social the whole time) felt the need to act up a bit (which I understand, but don't enjoy). She freaked when J wanted to get in the front seat to go home (after E told him to wait in the bus) and wouldn't let him in...and then he started freaking...and most frustratingly she wouldn't listen to anything I was saying but just repeated E told him to stay inside. YES, I get it. ARG.

(I think we need to find a way to communicate with A through actions instead of words, because she doesn't take them in so well and it is incredibly frustrating to come up against her stone wall when she wants to be stubborn. I suppose that's the challenge).

On my day off I did nothing but watch TV and dance a bit, and it was lovely.

Am excited to 'steal' some music off M's computer (we listened to his favourite band the other day, the Hidden Cameras, who are from Missassauga and are quite good and now I want them on my 'puter).

M's parents are here, and are cute. They visited Holy Island today -- which M, U, R and R's brother T and I did the other weekend (good seque, no? :)). We rowed over (the parents took the ferry, I believe), which was really fun and really exhausting and really frustrating (because T was being insecure and putting M and I down for our apparently bad rowing skills although he didn't do any of it himself. Which R pointed out, in a lovely chivalrous moment). Still, it was good to get there on our own effort. (The photos are from our trip there -- enjoy, Dad, although we didn't go with Pearse so you'll have to fill in the anecdotes yourself :)).

Here's a big personal step for me -- we've been discussing August, because A will be around but both R and E are vacationing and P says he'll come stay in Clai for that time but it's P so he still won't fully be there, I don't think (he's lovely, but stretched thin -- fingers in a lot of pots, and all that). Anyway, part of Aug is meant to be a holiday to Duffcarrig (another Camphill). P planned for A and R and himself and me to go, but I really didn't want to. So, instead of being my usual quiet and relatively backbone-less self, I spoke up and said no, I really don't want to come on that trip. And then P laid on a guilt trip (because if I don't go, he needs to find a female coworker to go in case something happens with A, which is kind of impossible since I'm the only female coworker available). I wavered a bit, but still stuck to my guns and now it's established that maybe a coworker in Duffcarrig will do.

And then R took it too far (as usual) and thought I meant that I can't be alone with them anymore, which is not what I meant at all. Just, a holiday would mean a lot of solo time with them, and since P is very social and knows Duffcarrig it would mean more (I'm sure he'd go off on his own, and I wouldn't want to stop him from doing so and would therefore end up with the two on my own) and they take so much emotional energy (each) that I can't imagine being with them both pretty much alone for a week. I'd go crazy. (More with R than A, actually -- both take a lot, but I'm more emotionally tied to R because he's my age and I'm already awkward around other people my age and he's too fickle -- sometimes he's fine and lovely and polite and all, and then he'll switch and become sullen and really rude. Which is fair enough, people have bad days...but I always like everything to be ok and problems to be fixed quickly and it doesn't work like that and I get emotionally strained very easily around him. And (somewhat unrelatedly) R is always pushing certain things with him, like a clean room and getting up on time and all that and I'm too young to agree. Oh, he's sleeping in? So what? He's a 21-year-old boy. Of course he is. And oh, his room is messy? So's mine. So what? (Meaning a lot of his behaviour I take as just being 21, and am fine with it, while R is trying to get him to act another way. More adult, maybe. Whatever). And with A, too -- she takes and takes and I am not very good at saying stop (although I'm getting better)....and yeah.

(PS: Sorry, this post seems to be making less sense than usual. I think I've had too many coffees, and plus I can't express my emotions very succinctly anyway. Who can? :))

Anyway, now I have to sit down with P and R and explain what I mean (why I can't go on the holiday with them). Yay. Emotions.

And...yeah. As much as I love it here, and am so glad for the experience and all it's teaching me...right now, I'm going to be very glad to go home in January. Alone time? Really? :)

And I'm off to Switzerland (to meet up with M, and then go on to France probably) in September (over my birthday, actually). I'm really excited...finally, some Europe travels! :)

Ok.

That's all for now, because it's almost supper and this post is already confusing enough and filled with enough overflow of emotions.

Here's hoping you're all doing swimmingly.

LOVE.

PS: The other day we were weeding the potatoes and then it started raining and everyone left but I wanted to finish my row (I've found I'm a bit OCD about some things :)) so I worked away and then I wanted to clean it up a bit so I rolled all the weeds to the end of the row...and then it felt like making a snowman, so instead I made a weedman (weed-troll, actually) and here's his picture. I had to leave to get the camera, and when I came back his head had fallen off (I think a bird tried to land on him), so it's Weedy Mark 2...but still. :)

PPS: Internet's crazy again, so Weedy and another picture (and maybe video of Holy Island) will have to come later.

Ah well.